The Adventures of Alice Wonderbar: Chapter 4
The following week a caravan of vans drove up highway 101 from San Francisco on its way to Mount Shasta. The petite Alice and the bulky bear like Neelam plus a guard and a driver were in one vehicle; LeClaire, the French spiritual leader and Ricardo were being driven in another. More guards and some of LeClaire’s entourage drove in vans to the front and back.
Alice sitting with Neelam was clearly dismayed by the presence of all the bodyguards. “You don’t like this,” Neelam stated the obvious.
“No, Neelam, it seems a sad, tradgi-comic parody of what I experience as truth. Ricardo thinks men with guns will protect us and there is something to do, some action to take which will irrevocably change life on planet earth and the balance of power.
“I experience it is each moment we live consciously and speak our truth that makes a shift. The individual, far from being powerless is an expression of the whole. So each individual who speaks their truth changes the consciousness of the whole of humankind.”
Love…Sex…Spirit & Guilt…
“The inner plane link ten days ago and the meeting with LeClaire last night went well,” Neelam said changing the topic.
“Yes, LeClaire is a charming man and a very developed one spiritually,” noted Alice abstractly.
“Something else troubling you?” Neelam gently probed.
“I suppose there is. I feel responsible for Clara’s children and for drawing her into what seems like star wars incorporated.
“When we started this adventure, I only thought only of romance and spirituality. Clara seemed to need something in the way of both to bring her into her aliveness. Romance can be a pathway to spirit.” Alice clasped Neelam’s fingers in hers as they drove along.
“My ‘thinking’ may be the issue.” Alice sat silent for a moment before continuing, “I presume at times to know what is best for others. And I don’t know. How can one know another. We hardly know ourselves. I have just never experienced culpability for the life or potential death of another. I guess I’m experiencing guilt. It’s not a familiar word in my vocabulary.”
“Let go and let God…as you have often said,” Neelam paused. “I remember when we would laugh and call sex, horizontal compassion.”
“Yes, sometimes for me making love was a doorway to experiencing an expanded state of consciousness. As I got older, however, it became less true, not because sex was less interesting rather the heart connection became more significant. The presence or awakening of my spiritual heart became paramount and one doesn’t necessarily need a sexual partner to have an open heart.
“As I grew older,” Alice smiled and Neelam could only see an elusive young woman before him, then a few crinkles around the eyes came into focus. “As I grew older,” Alice repeated “I began to experience things as they were, not as metaphors for other things. Sex is sex, though wonderful. Love or being touched by an open heart is something else.
Good sex opens the possibility of a heart connection but it isn’t de facto. I was disillusioned in a way. Now I live more in my own being and I recognize the love inside of me. It is delightful to share. However I am no longer seeking love from someone else. And still I probably have some corners in me of what some might call ‘romanticism’ about ‘love’ and the sexual.”
“You used to say,” Alice turned an impish grin towards Neelam, “sex was love…I no longer feel this is true, though a lovely sentiment for those of us who have had various sex partners.”
“Yes, but…as an expression of intimacy. I mean there has to be some degree of affinity, barring rape.”
“Yes, but,” Alice laughed at Neelam’s predicable behavior, “you have always been a ‘yes but’ kinda guy…I just thought Clara would enjoy a romantic-spiritual experience. I just never thought her children would be threatened. There is nothing to do except guard the choldren night and day, literally and psychically. It may be good or not, that we sent them away to summer camp. I sense a heaviness around them. The ‘I’ in me, is uneasy.”
“And here we are laying the foundations to save the world, and there is no ‘Yes, but’ in this, Neelam pouted indignantly.
“We may even be doing it in French. The language war has finally been won…Quebec will be happy, “Alice jested. “Mais vraiment un oppotunité.”
Later that evening they sat after dinner chatting when Pauline West took a spoon and rapped gently on her tea cup. “Perhaps it would be best to speak about the issues at hand before we meditate together. We are at a momentous time in the history of the world and what we are beginning will gradually impact all of human kind, its creatures and the very land itself.”
LeClaire chimed in “Linking divergent evolutionary organizations ranging from religious to spiritual disciplines, to human rights, animal rights and environmental activists is a very large undertaking. Yet as we begin to weave this together already we are half way there without even knowing it. The internet has already linked so many of us together. It is our job now to find a way to consolidate this by bringing to awareness the magnitude of people who are involved and make the connections more visible. The more global awareness of the interconnection, the more people everywhere will be eager to join in further. It’s like saying there is a big party going on and we are ‘it’. Everyone wants to be with ‘it’.
Tonight we start our spiritual family and many others from all spiritual paths will join. Our basic belief and support of human kindness is in every spiritual and religious organization and person. We can’t help but to succeed.”
Ricardo applauded as did Neelam. “The stars are with us, the astrology is perfect for beginning this task.” Alice leaned over and whispered theatrically to Neelam “Not like when Marois ran for re-election in Quebec, she should have consulted you. She would have known the stars were against her. “
“So true…however the stars are with us tonight and for many years to come.” Neelam was wearing his head scarf tonight and looking prophetic.
“The native peoples and the disenfranchised of the world are ready to make changes and having support from the inner planes will allow this to happen” Ricardo spoke quietly.” We will start this process on the inner planes. I will donate seed money to create internet awareness.”
Alice’s contribution was “I see that the equality of women is becoming a reality day by day. Women are becoming a presence in the corporate world as well as being scientists and doctors, they are even becoming Rabbis and the churches worldwide are beginning to include women priests. Perhaps one day the Catholic Church will also allow this because they cannot continue in such a counter evolutionary state.”
The group as one began to go to the meditation room above them. Each was dressed in their spiritual colors. LeClaire had on a violet silk shirt. Ricardo wore a white one, Pauline wore a light blue gown and Alice also wore white with a violet and gold scarf around her neck. Neelam was in black with a white head scarf that made him look mysterious. They entered into a beautiful spacious room scented with incense. There were large windows and a sky light. The curtains were drawn but the skylight let in the starlight. Chairs and cushions had been set in a circle.
What made Alice deeply happy was Ricardo had slowly been able to climb the stairs. She could see he was also impressed. His progress to health over the last months had been slow yet at the same time seemed miraculous. Alice was aware Ricardo daily therapy sessions incorporating CranioSacral and Brain Therapy, Vibrational Acupuncture and somatic education had done the job.
Sometime the miraculous happens in a moment usually with acute issues. Other times in chronic or physical conditions that have been around awhile, healing happens over time. Either way you simply need to have the right approach which works for you. Few people realize healing happens because of both the patient and healer. She mused on these thoughts.
Gradually the group came into a silent harmony, sitting in the quiet of a holy chamber, the candles and incense lit. Each intoned a prayer. Ricardo was last. He spoke with somber strength. “May the great Father and Mother bless our endeavor and assist us in bringing Peace on Earth.”
Alice heard in the silence which followed an inner plane response “So be it indeed!”
The group linked energetically as they each brought in their spiritual guides and masters. The chamber glowed with more than candle light. Their light bodies rose and they experienced being all together on a nonphysical plane in a crystalline chamber. Here they were joined by many others, some known to them, some not. It was a call that had spread to any and all who could hear it. Alice had always known, as the others did too, that there is a web which existed beyond the more recent internet. This web called all like vibrations to itself.
The light and radiance increased and all present experienced a deep state of harmony, love, spaciousness. This blessed state spread beyond their personal selves. Each received a message and confirmation from the divine. They were truly a part of the many colored robe of Adonai, expressions of the Divine as we all are.
Many hours later they sat in Pauline’s kitchen and shared the message each had received. Alice shared one from Anscar who had simply come to give his blessing and support. She also shared she had been asked by source to travel to faraway places to anchor physically the inner plane web around the world and to renew her contacts who would in turn spread it further.
LeClaire had a similar assignment in Europe and Eastern Asia. Ricardo when he was well enough would journey with Neelam to the Middle East. Pauline would be the focal point for North America. Ricardo’s crew would also go to South America.
The message they all received was one of Love and Unity. It was not a message to be spoken but to be vibrated. They would embody the felt experience of Love wherever they went with whomever they met. They had each become the Love that was needed in the world.
The next day, Ricardo and Alice went for a walk, a slow one. Ricardo was like a child, so delighted was he in seeing the smallest plant or creature as he placed one foot in front of the other.
They rested on some boulders beside the path they were following. Pauline had said it led to the St.Gemaine Center some quarter of a mile away. “You had a great influence on me,” Ricardo said, “all those years ago. I see that even more clearly now. The meditation last night was more powerful than any I have ever experienced. Perhaps I was wrong to insist that many of my associates follow the warrior’s path.”
“You were dealing with drug cartels and extreme injustice. It is I, who now see differently. I know you only used a show of strength when it was absolutely necessary. You were aiming for peace but how to achieve it in a country so poor and so divided economically. I have greater compassion for you these days.”
Alice and Ricardo held hands silently each deeply appreciating the other.
“Everyone has a different way. World unity will only come by emphasizing the common goals and allowing the individual and individual organizations to work towards those values in their own way while respecting others. This is what we have begun, you, I and the others. The difference now is the individuals and the organizations will be and feel more supported and less isolated,” Ricardo squeezed her hand. Slowly they returned to Pauline’s two story ranch house with its layered grey stone facade.
The others were chatting in front of the TV screen apparently the news programs were surprisingly reporting only human interest stories. It seemed there had been no violence in the world for the last twelve hours, a shockingly delightful discovery. The group hummed with excitement.
Alice and Ricardo stayed another night at Pauline West’s home and then were scheduled to return to Los Angeles the next day with LeClaire and Neelam. Sometime in the middle of the night Alice awoke as if an alarm bell had gone off.
Haram had taken the first watch of the night at the summer camp. He was due to be relieved by Pedro at 3 am. He was sitting outside of Janey’s cabin and was about to go check on Kevin when he was clunked on the head from behind. Dark, stealthy men entered the cabin and grabbed Janey. The little girl woke confused clutching the little beaded bag at her throat. “Mommy…Mommy!” Her mouth was covered, her screams silenced…but still heard far away.
Alice instantly knew what was happening. She nudged Ricardo awake. They had previously discussed what they might do if they were faced with a problem with the children. He too came immediately awake. They sat up, held hands and called in Anscar. They focused their combined energy on contacting Haram or Pedro. Only Pedro came in…and he jumped out of bed and ran as only the young can following his instincts. Haram and Pedro had already scoped out the weak points of fence surrounding the camp. Pedro headed directly towards one of those points nearest him. He got lucky. Pedro saw them and slowed as he neared, proceeding quietly. One of the kidnappers was already over the fence. One was about to lift Janey over the fence. The last man was standing just behind his partner. Pedro sped up and hurled himself like a cannon ball at these two men and managed to grab Janey as she fell towards ground. He shouted “Run Janey!”
Kevin suddenly appeared from out of nowhere and reached for Janey. They ran screaming at the top of their lungs. Camp Councillors and children clamored out of their cabins. Sirens were heard in the distance.
Pedro had tumbled into the men and proceeded to use every martial arts move Haram had taught him. The sound of the siren had the attempted kidnappers scrambling over the fence.
An ambulance was called in for Haram. Shortly after the police showed, additional men from Ricardo’s extended family drove up. The situation had been contained for now.
Nothing was said to Clara. Ricardo and Alice contacted Pablo. Reports were exchanged. Decisions made. Alice with one of the guards left early in the morning, taking a small plane down to San Francisco and then to Burbank airport. Neelam and Ricardo would leave later in the day. Turbusco decided to stay on with Pauline to have a meeting with the Mt. Shasta’s Spiritual community as well as accessing the Lemurians, primal ancestors of the human race who are said to live deep in the earth even now.
Pedro and Haram both were with Kevin and Janey at the camp recreational room when Alice arrived. Janey was coloring and Kevin was beating Pedro at chess. “Oh my dears, how are you?” Alice reached out to both and all. “Tell me what happened. Janey you were so brave and you did exactly the right thing. I heard you. And Kevin, how was it that you found them?”
“I just heard something, I guess it was Pedro getting up, when I looked outside I saw him and decided to follow.” Kevin pointed “Pedro’s the hero.”
“Aunty Alice it was scary.” “I know Janey,” Alice said, “how are you now little one?” “I’m good, Kevin and Pedro took care of me.” Alice turned to Haram, Kevin and Pedro, “you are all my heroes! And Haram, I better take a look at bump on your head.”
Alice stood outside the rec room feeling the warmth of the L.A. sun shine down. She took out her cell phone and called Clara. “Hi love, you may have already sensed something, there was the difficulty we had talked about…. No, no, everything and everyone is fine now. No, you need to stay where you are, just a couple of more days. If you run back to L.A. it will appear you have no trust in Ricardo….you know something about the politics there and how machismo works…Yes, of course, let me just bring the cell phone to Janey…but you must calm down just a little or you will upset her…Kevin helped out too. Haram was knocked unconscious but Pedro was able to handle the situation. All is well now. Ricardo has doubled the guards. The movie star kids are all well and good with it all. And Yes, we think it best if they stay in Summer camp. They will have fun. It is not like the movie star kids don’t have security trailing after them. That’s why this camp was chosen.”
Walking back inside, “Here she is, Dear,” Alice handed the phone to Janey.
Carlos and Clara were on their way to another meeting of the elders. Carlos pointed to a large house on a hill, “I also own this house. My children live there.”
“Really, you never mentioned children.” Clara felt herself contract. “How many do you have?”
“There are five, the youngest is 4 years old, the oldest 17. My wife and I are separated.”
“You mean divorced?”
“No one in the Catholic Church gets divorced if they can help it. Sometimes I stay there,” Carlos nodded his head in the direction of the house.
“I will going there this evening. It is my eldest birthday. Best, if you just stay at the downtown house and relax. I will be back late.”
“Oh…” the surprise and dismay showed in Clara’s tone of voice. “Don’t be worried. We are good. Yes,” stated Carlos.
‘Well, I am surprised, that’s all,” inside Clara was cringing feeling both sad and hurt.
Hours after midnight Carlos returned smelling of liquor and the scent of another woman. Clara and he did not make love.
Four days later, Clara, Alice, Neelam and Pablo sat around the kitchen table in West Hollywood. Clara had just come back from seeing her children. She was still upset. “Why didn’t you call me immediately?” “There wasn’t time,” Ricardo spoke reaching out for her hand. “Alice woke immediately and we put the plan into action. Pedro was right on top of it. I am sure you heard that from him this afternoon.”
“I rushed to see the children,” Alice spoke with warmth and compassion. “You could not have reached them by plane as quickly as I could. The best I could have done was to call you from the airport but wanted to see them before I did. Otherwise you would have been panicked without cause. We knew from Pedro that the worst was over.”
“You know we all made this decision before you left. And also I know how upsetting this must be for you anyway.” Ricardo spoke with sadness in his eyes.
“Yes, Yes, I know but I feel so helpless.” Clara broke down crying. Ricardo put his arm around her. “There, There, corazoncito.”
Alice was moved by Ricardo’s compassion. Neelam sat silently with Pablo and a cloud passed over the moon.
Alice and Clara held onto cups café con leché as they curled up on the couch next morning. “I seem to be collapsing. I am so sad and feel so helpless. First, there was the attempted kidnaping which was more than enough in itself and then the turn of events with Carlos. I found out that little house he and I stayed in was not where he usually lived. He’s married but he says he is separated from his wife. He came back late one evening drunk and smelling of another woman. What can I do?”
“Oh dear, I know this is hard. There is really nothing to do but feel your feelings. I tried to warn you that Carlos might not fit into your ideas about relationship. It may not help to know this but this is a common strategy among Mexican men and tourists, married and supposedly separated with an Americano lover on the side. Anyway, I’ve seen it before. On a more spiritual tract, if you love someone, you might consider allowing them their happiness where ever they find it. Not however an easy truth to live.
“I was told many years ago by first a psychologist in Toronto, that homicide was healthier than suicide. Later I heard the same thing from the heir apparent to Rajneesh. Not, of course that either wanted anyone to kill. Simply it’s better not to collapse in on yourself. Do not victimize yourself.
“Something in you choose Carlos. Accepting everything about him may be challenging. He obviously does not fit your picture of what you thought you wanted. Remember to honor the good parts. And also, you can choose to live something else. Do find out what in you needed to be with and learn from this relating….too much advice?
“No, not too much, Clara said. “I know I needed to let go control. Maybe all this was about letting go control and trusting not perhaps in Carlos but in life. I’m changing, evolving if you will…I really am but in this moment, I am totally reacting. Errg!”
“Let me get you another café con leché,” Alice went to the kitchen.
“Don’t bother, I’m going for a walk.” Clara moved towards the door. Alice turned her head seeing Clara open the front door, fully aware that the moment Clara left the house she would be followed by security. She decided not to remind Clara. “Does anyone walk in California? I guess they do now,” thought Alice.
Clara walked oblivious of her security shadow. There was nowhere to go in her consciousness. She could not reconcile the hurt, hopelessness and lack of control, powerlessness that she was feeling. She tried at first, as she walked by Spanish style houses in the neighborhood, to imagine how she would like her relationship with Carlos to work out; how she could protect her children; how she could save the world. It did not compute.
She suddenly found her consciousness expanding. The paradox of what she wanted and what actually was brought her in another zone. Walking always helped her, not that it led to solutions rather it calmed her and brought her back to the present and the beauty of the now. This time it opened a spaciousness she did not know she had in her. She felt as if she could touch the sky. She relaxed until she turned and noticed her security shadow. “Oh, no,” she said under her breathe.
A New Reality
Later in the day, Alice and Clara were in the Kitchen. “Ricardo will be leaving in a day or two, returning with Pablo to Mexico. It’s part of the process of getting his green card. Perhaps it will be a good time for you and me to do some training. You’ve seen how Ricardo works, it is time to experience my approach. You can start by reading these files.” She handed Clara a computer key. “These are the stories of my ‘sisters’, a group I guided when I was in Montreal. I am still very much connected to them.”
“I will start on the stories this evening. Thank you, Alice. I am so grateful for your guidance.” Clara spoke with tears in her eyes, her heart opening to embrace her godmother. Alice smiled, her angels sang from the corners of her eyes.
“Reality is how you perceive it with your mind. And to a certain extent depends on whose game you are playing. The conditioned self oft times needs to be dropped; who you think you are; who you have been told to be. Discover your true self, your essential natural self. This is called enlightenment.
“Shift how you are looking at things. On a less emotional note, I remember one year having a fabulous wardrobe. The owner of a boutique loved my healing sessions and needed them so we traded in our abundance, which at the time neither of us would have been able to afford. Any store that can make me look twenty years younger is my kind of store.”
“Oh, Alice, you always look at least twenty years younger than you are.”
“It’s because of the way I dress, dear. I could easily look like an old immigrant woman in baggy black.”
“Stop it Alice…you could not.”
“You get the point, find the perspective that works for you not against you.”
Alice and Clara clinked tea mugs.
Their spacious bedroom looked out on the patio garden. The sound of night singing birds could be heard through the partially opened French doors. Ricardo and Alice were having a tender moment, lying in bed and holding each other. Alice took a moment and lay back, sharing her concern about Clara, finishing with “Will you check with Carlos when you are in Mexico and see what his feelings and intentions are with Clara.”
“I think you are more concerned about Clara than you have ever been about yourself…You know I don’t intervene in the private life. But I will ask…just for you, sweetheart. To my eyes Alice, you are the perfect embodiment of the Universal goddess in all her attributes and always will be… truly your strongest archetype. Long life to beauty, love, grace and justice in all her manifestations.”
“Ricardo! You tease…but if only you had said this to me twenty years ago.” Alice grabbed hold of his shoulders and drew him near her.
“You don’t know what can happen,” Ricardo said as he held her, “walking was only the beginning.”
The night birds sang louder.
Crash & Bang
The sun shone through the foliage of the patio garden. The air had the sweetness of early morning. Suddenly there was a crash and a bang. Everyone came running but it was only the cat, that had knocked down a pile of books in the library aka exercise room at the front of the house. Alice went and made coffee for everyone as their hearts slowed and sleepy eyes reappeared. Alice brought a pot of coffee to security outside. Normalcy had returned, so to speak.