Forgotten age, the one I want to speak to is the vulnerability of teenagers transitioning into adulthood. Perhaps those years are long ago for you. As a therapist I usually see several young adults every season. They are in their late teens, early twenties…or have somehow struggled through but still dealing with typical kinds issues from this transition period into their thirties or even beyond.
My Interest
My interest in this time period was caught when as a young adult myself, I had a work study job in the records department of U.C.L.A. Neuropsychiatric Hospital. I noticed a name or two of young people I had met. Talented. The main diagnoses was schizophrenia.
I had also worked at a half way house mainly cooking Sunday dinner with my mother on the phone telling what to buy and how to cook it for 20-50 people. I interacted with those there and played games, checkers, chess ping pong. These were people there of all ages. I left when no other support staff showed up and participants put a rug on fire in the front yard. I was 22 or 3. So I was shifted to the records department.
I will say I did realize during this time I was not ever going to go crazy in this life. But, I like many young people had hardly any guidance. Aside from my mother and the cooking episode…I don’t know she gave much help or direction and certainly my father did not.
My mother, for sure, did not get any support in growing up. She got out of the house by marrying a gangster at 16. In fact, one of my sisters did have a challenge but after went to a super high paying job in corporate America.
Yes, my youthful days were the days of drug, sex and rock n’roll. Luckily I was a student and could not afford drugs and alcohol. Not that I wasn’t given some of this….
The big Issues
The big issue is no one realizes how fragile humans are during this forgotten age of late teens to early twenties. Least of all the person navigating this time frame. The ‘who’ thinks they are an adult and is exploring everything. And yes, I had a very exciting time…but lucky nothing horrid happened. I had misadventures, most of which were short lived. Somehow life came in and rescued me, I was very lucky. And looking back, I just count my blessings!
Another part of the issue is when things do get out of hand, the parents really do not know what to do and are often the source of the problems. Luckily, many disturbed, intractable young people do settle down. And find their path. me, I was just a little wild…a flower child.
And then there are some who wobble, lost but hunting for their way.
Immigrant Children
One of the consistent populations which have issues are the children of immigrants. This is especially true in Montreal where there is a large immigration population. The children are caught between being Canadian and traditional values. They often find after a period of outrageous rebellion a balance between the two value systems. IF their parents were at least kind and not overly wealthy, read entitled. Otherwise the young adults must find a deeper harmony and healing in themselves.
This is usually where I come in…and support or at least give a warm scarf. I haven’t had any children…but I do what I can. Somatic Therapy plus my non-dualistic, non-judgmental perspective allows me to rebalance and support their physical health and somatic dialogue with a body centered approach to wellness.
Overly religious beliefs systems and excessive foreign traditional values within in our current culture can create conflict and wreck a person for life. This leaves people young and old in incredible pain both physical and emotional..
Forgotten Age
Perhaps the forgotten age of late teens to young adulthood has everyone crossing their fingers and hoping for the best. Currently, the media is blaming TikTok for teenage depression when the pandemic protocols put a stop to needed social interaction especially for the young. Where does ‘what’ begin and end. There is no right way to navigate but with awareness, the freedom to be, will find a way.
I hate to go all spiritual or all pragmatic on you. I will say, I have never met the perfect person with a perfect life…even if they described themselves or their parents that way. On closer examination the parents were workaholics, never there or something else…
All I can say is…you can change your personal dynamics by owning your feelings. Discover how you can love yourself, if not all the time, finding a different perspective which works for you…not against you.
A client came last week whose brain is shrinking from a genetic disease. He could barely get up the stairs. He said “Whatever happens to you is for you.” Life is for you…not against you.
Sending Light & Love, Kyra
P.S. You might enjoy the Alchemy of Healing!
Frequently Asked Questions
Why are the late teen and early adult years considered such a vulnerable and overlooked life stage?
The big issue is no one realizes how fragile humans are during this forgotten age of late teens to early twenties. Least of all the person navigating this time frame. The 'who' thinks they are an adult and is exploring everything.
Why do children of immigrants often struggle during the transition from adolescence to adulthood?
The children are caught between being Canadian and traditional values. They often find after a period of outrageous rebellion a balance between the two value systems. Overly religious beliefs systems and excessive foreign traditional values within our current culture can create conflict and wreck a person for life.
How can somatic therapy help young adults struggling with identity and emotional pain?
Somatic Therapy plus my non-dualistic, non-judgmental perspective allows me to rebalance and support their physical health and somatic dialogue with a body centered approach to wellness.
